It Goes On

“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on” – Robert Frost

Many things happened the past weekend and its a mixed emotion for me. Most of us know of what happened in Makati City last Friday. The city that I have lived for more than twenty-three years. It’s the first time that a huge explosion like that occurred in this city and from my experience, there were only bomb treats within the buildings that I used to work in. Lucky for me, most of the time those things happen I’m a few miles away or an hour away. I really can’t tell the difference if I already walked a thousand kilometers already.

That night, my mother sent me a text message that one my cousin had a comatose. That particular cousin she mentioned to me didn’t affect much but the very next day the younger sister of that cousin of mine sent a message that he’s dead, that is when I felt bad. He was in his late 30s. He’s the only brother within their family and I just had a thought, “what if my brother died as well?” I just really felt bad.

The next day, Sunday, around ten in the morning I went to church where my boyfriend and I usually visit to hear mass. All I could think of that time was my cousin and how I remembered him. Holding back the tears, I just smile every time I see a kid smile and play next to our row.

After that, I went home to have lunch and get my brother to wake up. At the wake, I didn’t look at my cousin who is inside the coffin. I just chatted with my other cousins tending the other visitors. I just can’t bare looking at dead people; dead things; I want to remember them while they were still alive. My only good memory of him was the time I spent my summer vacation at their house. Playing as a chef with his youngest sister and him being our taster/customer. Luckily enough, we just used those small sized ready to cook pizza crust and only added tomato paste and melted cheese as toppings, only using an oven toaster: we weren’t such a bad cook after all.

That Sunday night, I went to my parents’ place and learned that my sister-in-law was scheduled to be confined in the hospital that night. They’re expecting their 2nd born.

I don’t know whether I should rejoice or be in mourning, as what Robert Frost said: it goes on. Nature will take its place and God does the same. We can only do so much and hope for the best.